Jennifer Folsom is the DC Metropolitan area Director of Momentum Resources, a boutique staffing firm specializing in placing professionals in flexible and reduced hours positions with smart organizations.
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Things We Love
Use Your Spending Power
To Create A
Cleaner, Greener World
take an inventory of your friends
by Julie Kang
Monday, August 03, 2009 08:31 PM
Think back to high school. Who did you hang out with? Hopefully friends who are still in your life and will be forever. There is something very special about friends who knew you during your formative years. Unlike others you meet as adults, they know your deepest, darkest secrets (and like you anyway!). OK, maybe not quite so dramatic, but they know things that you may not necessarily share with people you now meet. You can be yourself with them and not feel as if you’re being judged.
Your childhood friends may have been the best people to have in your life during those years, but what about now? You may not have much in common other than the history you share, but that may be more than enough to sustain a meaningful friendship. My stay-at-home mom friends lead a very different life than me (a very single thirty-something-year-old workaholic), but we support one another in our different life endeavors - even if we can’t always fully relate to each other.
Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. There may be a friend or two who you know you should break up with (much like breaking up with a beau), but because you’ve been friends for a long time, it’s hard to do.
There was one friend who I had to cut off from my life (sounds harsh but it’s the truth) a few years ago. Kelly and I had been friends since high school and had remained friends despite not living in the same state since graduation. She was the same person who had been a close friend for over 15 years. The difference is that...
Picture this scene from When Harry Met Sally. Harry and Sally sit uncomfortably silent during dinner the night after they have sex. Harry says to Sally, “It is so nice when you can sit with someone and not have to talk.” Sally then looks at him with her nose in the air and continues to eat. It is nice when it’s a comfortable silence. Clearly, there’s nothing comfortable about their silence.
Over the years, I’ve observed many couples sitting at restaurants not talking. It seems natural for some couples while extremely awkward for others. The latter scenario often occurs when one or both parties feel insecure about their relationship. When people feel confident about themselves and feel secure in their relationships, silence is natural and it shows.
Same principle applies when you’re interviewing. My mentor Randy perfectly describes it.
“It's the stress test of staying silent after the candidate has answered a question. If the candidate is confident in that answer, he/she stays silent, too. If the person feels insecure, he/she will assume your silence is evidence that you are dissatisfied with the answer, and will fill the silence with an extended version that morphs into whatever answer he/she thinks you must want to hear.”
There have been instances where I walked out of interviews wanting to bury myself because of the insane words that came out of my mouth. As I write this, I feel embarrassed all over again. Yuck. Why did I do this to myself? Why did I ramble on during an interview and answer a question in 3 different ways? Why didn’t I just shut up after the first answer?? Ugh, torture. I hate thinking about awful interview experiences. It’s frustrating because I am better than the crazy person who took over my body during the interview. I hope you don’t make these mistakes. Learn to embrace silence. In fact,...
Do you know people who constantly try to prove to others that they're smart? No matter what the conversation is, it always comes back to them. What they accomplished. What they know. What they are capable of doing. And let’s not leave out the annoying name-dropping habit. Perhaps you work with someone like this.
Why do some people walk around with their impressive resumes stuck on their forehead? What are they trying to prove?
I thought about this while I was at the park today with my dog Rocket. We go to the same park everyday where he plays with his canine friends while humans socialize. Most people don’t engage in deep conversations; it’s mostly small talk. Once in a while, I’ll talk to someone for a long time, and discuss what he or she does for a living. Because I live in North Hollywood, close to the movie studios, many work in the entertainment industry. For those who are not very familiar with this industry, it’s comprised of many aspiring actors, directors, and writers, etc. Unless you make it big (it’s like winning a lottery), it’s really tough to earn a steady income - or at least income that’ll afford you a comfortable living.
The other day, I talked to someone who felt compelled to tell me that he has a master’s degree and earned a six-figure income before giving it all up to become an actor. He went on and on about his “previous life.” For him, telling me that he was an actor was not enough. What he wanted was VALIDATION. No, he wasn’t hitting on me.
I believe when people lack confidence and feel insecure, they seek validation from others to make themselves feel better...
As of today, “HeelsConnect Career Makeover” is in the lead by one vote over “The Heels Journey to Career Bliss” as the name for our next series. Please cast your vote under “POLL” to help us decide on the name – especially since it’s a very close race. For now, we’ll call it “HeelsConnect Career Makeover.”
We are confident that Phase Two of HeelsConnect.com, which we’ll launch in a few weeks, will exponentially increase our traffic. We are fortunate to have a solid base of loyal readers (thank you!), and I’m hoping Phase Two will put us on the map to run with the big dogs… who are the big dogs? Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter. Ha! I’m delusionally optimistic, but this is too farfetched even for me. When we reach the final phase of being a social networking website, then I can be delusional.
Two participants have been chosen for the first round of HeelsConnect Career Makeover. There were several criteria in selecting the candidates. We looked for smart, ambitious, tenacious women in search of a career that will fulfill their professional needs. They aren’t looking for a “job” that’ll just pay their bills; instead, they are in search of a company and position that are the right fit so that they can build a lasting career.
We will introduce the two participants when we launch the series. You will get to know them very well. In fact, I’m confident that you will be rooting for them as you follow their journey to the end. Some of you may want to provide advice or even recruit them; we welcome all support. Both women are in the process of completing assignments designed to help them prepare for this challenge. Trusted advisors have been assigned to help them along the way. All of the strategies and tactics will be shared with you so that you can apply the techniques if you are or will be making a career change.
If you would like to participate in the second round of HeelsConnect Career Makeover and/or would like more information, please
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. We will consider...
Diane MacEachern, founder and CEO of Big Green Purse, answers the next 5 questions.
7) How do you see the green movement evolving in our daily lives? 8) And the green movement industry in 5 – 10 years? 9) For women interested in pursuing a career in this industry, what advice do you have? 10) Can you tell us about your book Big Green Purse: Use Your Spending Power to Create a Cleaner, Greener World, ? 11) From where do you draw your inspiration?
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