|
will you have a midlife crisis? |
|
by Julie Kang
|
|
Tuesday, July 07, 2009 08:16 PM |
|
Last blog “women don’t have the luxury to have midlife crises” drew several responses from readers. The following is one of them. There are parts I agree with and parts I don’t. I’ll share my thoughts in the next blog, and explore double standards for men and women that exist in the workplace today.
Response from a reader:
Absolutely women are partly to blame for the "double standard". Frankly, it’s my midlife crisis and I'll have one if I want to, regardless of what other men and most definitely women think! Unfortunately, I had mine already, so I guess my next breakdown will be my 2/3 life crisis.
I think some of the history behind the double standard is if men are the typically the bread winner, carrying the responsibility, burden, worry of holding a job, bringing home a paycheck and providing for the family (shelter, food, money, safety), this is associated with real stress. If women typically stay at home and take care of the work around the house such as cooking, cleaning, and raising kids, then the stress level is assumed to be less, since they are in the support role.
So when a woman in this familial role has a midlife crisis, people wonder, “what level of stress was she dealing with that pushed her over the edge"? I.e., how hard is it to make sure kids are healthy and fed, and home is clean and dinner is hot and on the table at the end of the day?... |
|
|
"women don't have the luxury... |
|
by Julie Kang
|
|
Monday, July 06, 2009 08:39 PM |
…to have midlife crises" was my friend Sandy’s comment when I categorized South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford in the “man having a midlife crisis” category, after he admitted to having an extramarital affair. Of course, I don’t condone his act, nor do I think he is, in any way, a victim – just the opposite. Still, it crossed my mind that he may be going through an emotional crisis often brought on by fear and anxiety about aging – just my opinion based on nothing scientific.
In some ways, society has conditioned us to think that when seemingly normal middle-aged men behave badly, they must be experiencing some sort of midlife crisis. But when women commit the same sin – whatever it may be – different judgments are passed. It’s not “oh, she must be going through a midlife crisis.” Instead, the remarks are typically more driven to attack her character. Here’s why:
Because Sandy’s comment is so TRUE!
Women can’t afford to take time off to do something drastically irrational because we have too many responsibilities towards others. We are caretakers and nurturers, and we put everyone else’s needs before our own... |
|
by Julie Kang
|
|
Friday, July 03, 2009 08:14 AM |
In celebration of the holiday weekend, which makes me think about my relatives in South Korea, here’s a story that will be shared in the book I plan to write; it’s about my extraordinary mom’s life.
If you read “thank you, Mom”, you have an idea about my family’s history in Korea (this blog about my mom was the second most popular post after “passion, anyone”). I received several emails from readers who shared that they shed tears while reading this blog, which made me that much more proud of my extraordinary mother, and that much more certain that I need to write a book about her life.
My mom and I were in Korea 3 years ago; I was thrilled to return to my homeland to see our relatives. This was our first trip back to Korea after having left over 20 years before. For my mom, it was a bittersweet homecoming because of the painful past that can’t be erased.
Spending time with my relatives was enough for me in terms of what I wanted from the trip. To my surprise, my mom asked my cousins to locate my father, who I had not seen since I was maybe 7 or 8, but who I have very vivid memories of. She had no reason to see him; it was for me. The thought of seeing him didn’t even cross my mind until my mom brought it up. It had taken me many years to tuck away memories of my dad, as a healing mechanism, so he really didn't exist in my life. After a persistent search, my cousins found my father’s sister. This aunt raised my sister and me while my mom was in the U.S. securing Visas for us.
After my mom spoke to my aunt, they arranged a meeting for my father and me. The night before the meeting, I was nervous, excited, anxious, and scared. So many thoughts went through my head and the mental list of questions continued to grow. I wondered how I was going to ask all these questions. I’m embarrassed to admit that I can’t speak Korean well. Actually, I can’t speak much at all. Yes, my linguistic skills suck. I didn’t want to subject my mom to be the translator, because if it wasn’t for me, she would not have had any reason to see him again. Unfortunately, I had no choice but to rely on my mom.
On our drive to see my father, my mom received a call from my aunt. She revealed the shocking news that my dad passed away 5 years before, and that she hadn’t wanted to share the news over the phone... |
|
getting closer to "HeelsConnect Career Makeover" |
|
by Julie Kang
|
|
Thursday, July 02, 2009 11:41 AM |
|
As I mentioned in the last blog, "HeelsConnect Career Makeover" is resonating the most with our readers. My good friend Goli sent me the following, which is a compelling argument on why this may be the right title for the series. Here's what Goli had to say:
"I voted for “HeelsConnect Career Makeover” but let me add the following disclaimer.
I actually like the phrase "The Heels Journey to Career Bliss" the most. It's catchy, probably casts a wider net (since most people can relate to the 'journey' component) and is the most creative, in my view.
But, I think “HeelsConnect Career Makeover” sounds more professional and will probably have the most impact with people (while still sounding fun). It implies that there's something to be gained in the end (an actual makeover) versus just hearing about the 'journey' and commiserating with others who are going through it too. Which is not a bad thing - it just doesn't imply a solutions-oriented approach, which is what I imagine you would want."... |
|
"HeelsConnect Career Makeover"...??? |
|
by Julie Kang
|
|
Tuesday, June 30, 2009 10:03 PM |
|
In addition to the votes from the Poll, I received many name suggestions for the next HeelsConnect series. As I described in the last blog, this series is intended to help workingwomen of all ages make productive changes in their career, to ultimately achieve sustainable career bliss.
We have had record breaking number of pageviews (a critical measure for website ranking) recently, and overwhelming enthusiasm from the readers. Now, we just have to deliver.
We will – one way or another. It may not be perfect, but sometimes perfection isn’t the end goal, nor is it most appealing to the readers. What I have learned throughout the HeelsConnect journey is that you have to plan and you have to adapt as you continue on the path. When I conducted the HeelsConnect strategy sessions/focus groups prior to launching HeelsConnect.com, the product I envisioned looked very different from the current one. And we will continually evolve in multiple phases to respond to your input. Your voice, after all, is the one that counts.
So far, “HeelsConnect Career Makeover” is the frontrunner as the series’ name. Some people included reasons for why we should choose this, and they were compelling. The name stands on its own, and there is no ambiguity; readers will have a clear sense of what it is. It also promotes our brand name.
I’m also partial to “The Heels Journey to Career Bliss” (mainly because I came up with it). I am SO not creative so I’m pretty proud of myself for even coming up with anything (sometimes you have to pat your own back as an entrepreneur; otherwise, who else will?).
Here are the pros and cons for both. I’m hoping you can help me sort it all out.... |
|
|
|
|
<< Start < Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Next > End >>
|
|
Page 6 of 19 |
