| WHO do you want when you're full? |
| by Julie Kang |
| Wednesday, August 19, 2009 08:29 AM |
|
If I’m still single on my 40th birthday (it’s not this year but it’s there waiting with open arms – a bit too wide), I’ll celebrate my singlehood by registering 100 pairs of heels. Then I’ll send the announcement to my friends and family. What do you think? I recently calculated the money I’ve spent on being in weddings, attending weddings, buying wedding gifts, buying bridal shower gifts, buying baby shower gifts, hosting bridal showers, and hosting baby showers, etc. And it’s a really high number – really, really high. So if I don’t get married or have children, am I out of luck? Of course, I’m joking. Kind of, I think. Am I? I’ll know when I turn 40. Until then, I’ll buy my own shoes. The greater question is “Will I be single at 40?” Tell me after the following. Who Do You Want When You’re Full? A couple of years ago, I had dinner with my friends Erin and Linda at Fleming’s in Newport Beach. Even though all three of us had had a big lunch and were full, we could not resist ordering the Halibut on the dinner special menu. We were hanging onto the server’s every word describing the fish and we were sold. As soon as our plates hit the table, we could not stop stuffing ourselves; the halibut was exquisite. Let me remind you that we were full to begin with! As I licked my plate clean, I realized I wanted the same experience in a marriage. When I’m starving, everything looks delicious. I’m ready to eat anything to satisfy my hunger. But I often regret what I ate when I’m full afterwards. I wish I hadn’t stuffed myself. The halibut, on the other hand, still tasted great even though I wasn’t hungry. I still wanted it and enjoyed it immensely. And I had no regrets afterwards; I want the same in a man. No, I don’t want him to taste like halibut. I don’t want to get married when I’m feeling lonely or desperate. It’s similar to... wanting to eat anything when I’m hungry. I want to be with someone when I’m feeling completely content alone (full) and the guy will be like the halibut. I will want to be with him NOT because he’ll fill a void (like satisfying my hunger), but because I will want him. I don’t need a guy to make me complete because I already am...finally, after many years of feeling insecure during my 20s. Some women marry because being alone is not an option and I respect their needs. I may grow old and gray alone, but I prefer to be alone than settle. I say that now… I am content being alone (a little too much which my friends think is an issue but that’s another topic) so it’s just a matter of the right halibut coming along… Will he? Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows if I’ll be single at 40. I may just send out a lovely gift registry and that will make me very happy. “Who Do You Want When You’re Full?” is the title of the book I plan to write one day. So, who do YOU want when you’re full?
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